Critical Investigation tutorial - second draft.

   Some improvement from first draft but still some very real issues we need to resolve for the final draft.

·         The critical issue is the lack of a clear argument running through the essay. You seem to argue at the start and end that teen movies have changed over the years but the middle bit is how similar Breakfast Club, The DUFF and Mean Girls are in terms of using stereotypes. This lack of clarity will really restrict what level the essay can reach.

·         Similarly, there is a lack of clarity with the second part of the question: audience effects. What point are you trying to make? You have some brilliant quotes but don’t introduce them properly or use them to advance an argument. I strongly advise you to get angry! Why not argue that these films are reinforcing very negative messages to young women (like representation of women in advertising – Killbourne).

·         Written English is still nowhere near the standard required for A2 – either you are not proofreading or you seriously need to work on your proofreading. Look at my comments on the first page alone.

·         Research is good – plenty of footnotes and extensive bibliography. If you can change the argument to make use of these quotes then there’s the potential for a good essay.

·         Perhaps consider adding some recent theorists from the exam side – e.g. Jean Killbourne and the representation of women. You can discuss the negative impact these images of women have on young audiences to cover the second part of your question.

·         Copy and paste this feedback into a new blogpost on your MEST4 coursework blog called ‘Critical Investigation tutorial – second draft’.

·         Your immediate priority needs to be the Linked Production: this is worth 32 marks.

·         When you have a Linked Production in draft form, return to this essay with fresh eyes and look to make three or four key improvements before submitting the final draft.

·         Your final deadline is immediately after the Easter holiday: Wednesday 19 April.

Critical Investigation learner response

Critical Investigation: first draft learner response

On your MEST4 coursework blog, complete the following tasks:

• Type up your teacher comments from your first draft - these are your main targets that you must address.

www: 

[] Your bibliography is impressive and you clearly know your genre. There is definitely the potential to improve this by a grade or two - but a few key areas to work on first. 

ebi: 

[] Written English is a huge problem: look at the number of errors highlighted just on the first page. It is essential to write grammatically correct sentences at A2 level (frankly: at GCSE level) 

[] There isn't a clear argument running through this ... it seems like the essay can't decide between the representation of youth and gender. I think you need to offer a positive and negative impact on audience for stereotypes and then explore these two sides throughout the essay.

[] Your bibliography is very good but there isn't enough evidence of this in your essay.Where are all the academic quotes discussing the impacts the impact of stereotypes? You also need to learn how to introduce a quote. 

[] Textual analysis is lacking: where is the detailed media terminology? Far too often you are simply describing the film and quoting lines.  

• Write what level/mark/grade you are aiming for in your second draft.

30+ [ Level 3 high] 

• Write a numbered action plan of at least five things - ideally one for each of the eight EBIs you received in feedback in your Peer Assessment lessons - that you will do or change for your second draft that will help you get there. Be specific and explain in detail.

- add in more references from my bibliography

- add in media terminology within my textual analysis 

- fix my written English - re-reading my paragraphs 

- present my argument clear - separate them in paragraphs  

MEST 4: Preliminary exercise: evaluation

1) Why did you choose this particular recreation and how does it link to your main production?
The location of clip i had chosen what quite easy to film, as it was during a school environment. In addition, to get 3 girls who aren't doing much whilst saying their lines was something that made it a little more easier for me to chose the clip that i did.
2) What difficulties did you face in producing this recreation?
As all of this had to be recorded outside, sound was difficult as it wasn't very clear because you could hear the wind within the clip. Another difficulty that came along with shooting the scene was that we rushed it as because it was during break time too this was because we couldn't get everyone together before this had to be submitted. 
3) What are the strengths of the production?
I was able to edit the clips very closely to the actual clip i had chosen to do. I was able to meet the brief of 30 seconds. 
4) What aspects would you look to improve?
-Sound 
- attention to detail.

5) What lessons will you take from this process that will help you with your main production?
- always check the sound 
- never rush a shooting - taking time and going over the clips once shot properly would be a benefit. 

6) Now that you are ready to start your actual linked production, explain clearly what you will be creating and how confident you are in delivering this. 
I will be creating a teen movie narrative - subverting from the traditional storyline (not 100% sure yet) but I'm fairly confident that i would be able to meet the standards that are required. 

preliminary exercise

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnBtYVdiaIc 

                                         

(0:40 - 58)

                           

Preliminary exercise: Recreation Task

Name of the text you plan to recreate:
Bratz


Scene/section you will recreate:
6:20 - 6:40
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5SFco7DAAo&t=410s

Location you will use for your recreation:
outside -


Actors you will require for your recreation:
3 girls 

Props/costumes you will require for your recreation:
spare clothing

Equipment you plan to use:
tripod 
camera
mic 


Any other relevant information:

Linked Production Brief

Your Critical Investigation topic:
Teen films and stereotypes of them

Your Linked Production brief:
opening scene of a teen movie?  'coming of age' - 
focusing on the location and the characters introduction; timid girl not so social - her perspective of school life
or
a make over for a girl - into very popular girl

Length/size of production (e.g. 3 minutes, 5 pages etc.):
2/3 mins

Give an example of an existing media text this is similar to what you plan to produce:
- LOL 
- mean girls

Give an example of an institution that would produce or distribute your planned production:
Film 4

How would your production reach its audience?
Netflix or YouTube.

Who do you plan to work with on this project?
myself

Critical investigation tutorial - 02.12.16

Question – go with the second question you’ve got on the plan, that should work very well.

Introduction – lay out argument, primary text and any secondary/historical texts. Present your angle/hypothesis. You can mention a theory or two but don’t go into detail – save that for later. 250 words.

Section 1 – historical text. Good start – that works with the question, Breakfast Club ideal for this. Get some textual analysis in here. 250 words.

Section 2 – other historical/secondary texts. Use this to emphasise how well established stereotypes are in teen movies across time. Potentially more textual analysis? Variety of examples and quotes will be great here. 250 words.

Section 3 – Primary text: The DUFF. Textual analysis. Media key concepts etc. Quotes/reviews etc. 500 words.

Section 4 – Effects theory and research. What impact do films have on audiences? Are young people influenced by movies? There must be loads of both academic texts AND Guardian/MM articles that explore this issue. This is a crucial section to demonstrate academic strength of essay. 500 words.

Section 5 – Young audiences and their ability to use new technology to challenge stereotypes/representations etc. How representations may look in the future. 400 words.

Conclusion – sum up your argument, snappy ending please! 150 words.

Next steps… update/finish your plan based on this tutorial. You don’t need to stick to the above by any means but hopefully it has at least clarified your thinking and provided a potential structure that will be easy to follow.

I need to have a quick read of your opening paragraph when it’s written but otherwise you are good to go.

This essay has great potential – the key is making sure there is a strong thread running through it and you get into the media effects theory debate and influence on teenagers. I also think the section on new technology and young people creating their own representations has great potential.

Next steps:
- More research into new technology and young people creating their own representations especially.
- write down the introduction
- continue on notes and quotes

Publish this tutorial to your blog with your next steps as usual.