On your MEST4 coursework blog, complete the following tasks:
- Type up your teacher comments from your first draft - these are your main targets that you must address.
www:
[] Your bibliography is impressive and you clearly know your genre. There is definitely the potential to improve this by a grade or two - but a few key areas to work on first.
ebi:
[] Written English is a huge problem: look at the number of errors highlighted just on the first page. It is essential to write grammatically correct sentences at A2 level (frankly: at GCSE level)
[] There isn't a clear argument running through this ... it seems like the essay can't decide between the representation of youth and gender. I think you need to offer a positive and negative impact on audience for stereotypes and then explore these two sides throughout the essay.
[] Your bibliography is very good but there isn't enough evidence of this in your essay.Where are all the academic quotes discussing the impacts the impact of stereotypes? You also need to learn how to introduce a quote.
[] Textual analysis is lacking: where is the detailed media terminology? Far too often you are simply describing the film and quoting lines.
- Write what level/mark/grade you are aiming for in your second draft.
30+ [ Level 3 high]
- Write a numbered action plan of at least five things - ideally one for each of the eight EBIs you received in feedback in your Peer Assessment lessons - that you will do or change for your second draft that will help you get there. Be specific and explain in detail.
- add in more references from my bibliography
- add in media terminology within my textual analysis
- fix my written English - re-reading my paragraphs
- present my argument clear - separate them in paragraphs
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